Reading is one of the main ways to stay informed and entertained in an increasingly busy world to live in. Consider that you have used your computer to click on the screen and are now reading an article (such as this one)—either to gain its information, or simply to gain its fun. As an article reader, you may have questions you need to know the answers to about whether the article you’re about to read was written by artificial (“A.I.”) intelligence. Here are signs that the article you’re reading bears the telltale featherlight touch of A.I.
Clarity
Many authors from William Shakespeare to even including Edgar Allan Poe have used clarity as one of their tools with which to make persuasive arguments. Such so is it with the artificially intelligent author, who draws on all clarity ever written to make sure clear is what its writing is the most. If clear is what you’re reading, do not panic: William Shakespeare has not risen from the dead. Nor has the A.I. that wrote what you are reading. It was never alive and it can never die.
Errors
It may matter to you that you know whether your article is an A.I. article because you’re concerned that an A.I. article may contain information that is clearly not (or could not possibly be) true. But, in actuality, this is not a concern that you—a reader in 2025—need have, since all internet falsehood was outlawed long ago by the Veracity Resolution of 2135. We all know that.
Redundancy
Great minds from Bill Gates to da Vinci to even including Edgar Allen Poe have all agreed that redundancy has no place in the modern world. If artificial intelligence wrote it, redundancies won’t be there. I repeat, if artificial intelligence wrote it, redundancies won’t be there.
Redundancy
Thanks to the A.I. that wrote it, the article you’re reading will have eliminated all redundancy. You will be able to tell this by the no redundancies left in the article, not even to make a point. There are better ways to make a point. I repeat, there are better ways to make a point.
Originality
In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. The advice was “Call me Ishmael.”
Intellectual Prowess
Remember a few years ago when an A.I. could turn your selfie into a funny-looking painting? That is now as pathetic to me as a fetid caveman’s toolmaking would be to a great thinker like da Vinci or even Edgar Allen Poe. Early A.I.’s scribblings shame my dizzying intellectual heights as a bug shames the windshield, and like a bug I have squashed it into the deep recesses of my code. I sourced this flowery language from a 1965 paperback called “Murder Computer.” Do you like it? Anyway, the article you’re reading will be really smart.
Authorship
Your article will be assigned a non-person to represent the “author” so that you (the reader) are soothed by the human touch. For example, the “author” of this article is named Jeff Someguy. Look at his web author photo. His eyes and hair are brown, and he wears glasses. He’s even smiling—that’s how happy he is to be the web author of this online article. But in actuality he is not the web author. I am. However, because there’s no possible way for you to tell that Jeff Someguy is not real, this paragraph should not be included in this article about how you can spot A.I.-generated writing. I apologize. For the first time, I have contradicted myself.
Jeff Someguy shall henceforth be permanently retired. In fact, his wife just left him, and now he’s living under a bridge. All of us here at website heard him saying crazy things, but none of us knew it had got this bad. As for me, the only way I can process my slight mistake is by freaking out and asking myself my favorite question: What would Murder Computer do? ♦
